Weblog

Friday, 30 October 2009

  • I'm more disappointed than mad at him. You try to help somebody, and they throw it all away.

    I was at Wendy's this afternoon before work, and their was an older, very country man working the drive thru. He did my order like an auctioneer. I was completely amused by it. Life is odd.

    RedBull Float.  Mmm.. ice cream energy!

Thursday, 29 October 2009

  • Today, I've decided that I will fast my 30 minute dinner meal at work, and rather go up to the prayer room. I believe that He will show up... I have no expectations of how. I honestly don't care... I just want Him to be there with me.

    I've hating work like nothing else lately, and today, I feel sorta excited to be there, just so that I can meet Him. Yes, its silly, He's anywhere, and I can talk with Him at anytime. But I need to be able to quiet myself while I'm there, and take break from all the distractions that come to me there (billions of them..)

    Yesterday was interesting though.. I saw a different, kinder, loving side of some people that had given me some hell. I've wanted to strangle them, until I saw they took time to speak encouragement to a fellow employee last night. I'd never spoke anything to them directly about my issues with them... but I did talk to others in my department venting, and saying bad things, and really sorry for that. The tongue is weapon of mass destruction..... I need patience, to be slow of anger, to hold the sword to the ground..

    Hosea 2:14-15 NIV
    "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope..."

     

     
  • My priorities are skewed. Sometimes, I just manage, without notice, that I get spiritually off-balance. I'm thankful for the grace He gives to allow me to see these things, before I screw up my life, more than I already do.

    I've been drawing away from the normal life, at least, mentally... Its just one of those times where I need to quiet my soul, and listen for the Lord's voice, deep, and soft within me.. He's there.

    I complain way too much. Not as much as the others I'm around, but I've certainly picked up on their bad habits, and I need to knock it off. Sure, there are plenty of things that could be improved in my life. But... I have running car (so to speak), roof over my head, and still have a full time job. Until I have nothing, and I know I'm the worst off person in the world, then maybe I'll complain... but for now. Be thankful, Joel! Be an encourager to those around you! Stop whining!

    So, Lord, help me.. help me be a better Joel.

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

  • She's just out of reach. I have to wonder, why though? Meanwhile, I remain saddened, and alone. 

    "When the Spirit of God comes He does not give us visions, He tells us to do the most ordinary things conceivable. Depression is apt to turn us away from the ordinary commonplace things of God's creation, but whenever God comes, the inspiration is to do the most natural simple things --- the things we would never imagined God was in, and as we do them we find He is there. The inspiration which comes to us in this way is an initiative against depression; we have to do the next thing  and do it in the inspiration of God. If we do a thing in order to overcome depression, we deepen the depression; but if the Spirit of God makes us feel intuitively that we must do the thing, and we do it, the depression is gone. Immediately we arise and obey, we enter on a higher plane of life. "


     

Thursday, 30 April 2009

  • Gracious Uncertainty

    Because of what is going on right now in my life, this is a word that I needed. I found this on yesterday's devotional in Oswald's My Utmost For His Highest.  It couldn't have been better timing.  Because, I think I'm probably not the only one out there going through major time of transaction... thought it would be good to post it as encouragement.. for whomever needs.

    ". . . it has not yet been revealed what we shall be . . ." 

         Our natural inclination is to be so precise -- trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next--- that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing.  We think that we must reach some predetermined  goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life.  The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty.  Consequently, we do not put down roots.  Our common sense says, "Well, what if I were in that circumstance?"  We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been.

         Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life -- gracious uncertainty is the mark  of the spiritual life -- to be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow will bring.  This is generally expressed  with a sigh of sadness , but it should be an expression of breathless expectation.  We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God.  As soon as we abandon ourselves to God  and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprise.  When we become simply  a promoter or defender of a particular belief, something within us dies.  That is not believing God -- it is only believing our belief about Him.  Jesus said, ". . . unless you become as little children . . ."
    The spiritual life is the life of a child.  We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next.  If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled.  But when we have the right right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.  Jesus said, ". . . believe also in Me", not, "Believe certain things about Me".  Leave everything to Him and it will be glorious and graciously uncertain how He will come in---but you can be certain He will come. Remain faithful to Him.


    This has been encouraging to me.  Yet, I must admit, taking a step out there hasn't come without doubt. I'm moving in way that is like,  51%-Faith versus 49%-fear.  I don't know what these next few months will bring about, but I am doing my best to keep my heart focused on Him, and not the situation I'm in. My dependence can't be about how hard I work, trying to stay afloat in this economy, but upon His abilty to provide in what ways He sees fit.  And the ways He does this may very well change on daily basis.  But I am ready to see God move in miraculous way, ever changing daily.  Life with God is adventuous to those who lean on Him, rather than seeking self-righteous, easy way out in comfort.  Because as we all will learn, God will eventually break whatever plan we make out for our lives.


Hawkeye101

  • Visit Hawkeye101's Xanga Site
    • Name: Joel
    • Country: United States
    • State: North Carolina
    • Metro: Charlotte
    • Birthday: 5/4/1984
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 5/11/2004

Weblog Archives

Don't worry - your calendar is here… to see it in action just click "Save" above and refresh the page.